If any of you have been following the ongoing saga that is the Yankee’s pitching staff then you’ve heard of their husky heart-throb Joba Chamberlain. The guy can apparently break into triple digits with his fastball. I doubt he learned that from Mike Mussina. Since Chamberlain is seen as savior for the their pitching woes, the Steinbrenner’s had implemented restrictions for this guy, know as the Joba Rules. The commandments went something like this:
He cannot pitch on consecutive days. So if he pitches one inning, he gets one day of rest. If he pitches two innings, he gets two days or rest.
With that, I have developed my own rules to preserve my quality of life:
1. I cannot eat leftovers the day after consuming the original meal unless it is pizza. However, heating up leftovers later the same night is acceptable, but only to prepare for a “fun night.” This is to protect my taste buds and my appetite.
2. I cannot read more than one chapter of a book in one sitting. This is to protect my eyes and to sustain appropriate fun levels.
3. A Miller Brewing Company product must be in my refrigerator at all times to keep the family business going. This is to keep my liver occupied.
4. I am allowed to sleep in until at least 11am on the weekends if I choose to. This is to preserve my laziness.
5. There should always be at least two functioning television sets within a 50-foot radius of where I’m at. Because TV is brain food.
This list may be amended at any time depending on how it affects my performance.
